Oh Brody...

A few of my favorite Brody quotes from the week...

When asked what he wants for dinner on the way home from school, his response:
"I have absolutely no idea"

When asked how the toilet seat (and part of the floor and wall) got covered in pee, his response:
"I have absolutely no idea"

When asked how he got a black eye, his response:
"I got it on the stairs this morning."
Me: "At school?"
Brody: "No, at home."
Me: "You didn't get a black eye on the stairs at home this morning."
Brody: "Oh. I meant that I got it at school." (while shaking his head at his silly mistake).
Me: "You fell on the stairs at school?"
Brody: "No, I banged my face on the door at school. It didn't even hurt."
Me: "Wait, I thought you said the stairs?"
Brody: "I meant the door."
Me: "What door?"
Brody: "That door." (as he points to the right- I think indicating the side door at his school that goes out to the playground). "It was stuck and I pulled it like this" (makes exaggerated pulling motion), "and I bonked my eye and then I bonked my eye on the other side of the door too."
Me: "Did you tell your teachers?" (Thinking maybe I can get a straight answer from them about what happened.
Brody: "No 'cause it didn't even hurt!"
...I give up and the mystery of the black eye continues.

After throwing out some of his candy because we told him we would throw out some of his candy if he wasn't being a good listener, his response (after crying):
"That's OK, because those jelly beans had a little brown on them so they would taste yucky anyway. My vitamins can be my special treat."

After I told him that if he couldn't say anything nice, he needed to stop talking, his response:
"Well, you're making me angry when you say that and you're not going to be in my family any more."

Sometimes that boy is so precious he melts me and sometimes the things that come out of his mouth make me want to put him outside and lock the door. Yes, I realize that probably makes me a bad mother, but I promise I would send him out there with his coat and hat so he wouldn't get too cold. And eventually, I'd let him back in...I think!