What I'm Thankful for

In the spirit of the season, here are a few things that I am thankful for.

• My family is healthy and happy and silly and loving.
• Unlike last year at this time, I'm not growing a human inside my body and having to face the challenging task of getting him out in a few short months!
• After seven years I am still in love with my husband (I might not get to see him often, but he's still my favorite person to be with).
• We have a safe, warm, and beautiful shelter to go home to each night.
• Dance parties in the kitchen after dinner.
• My kids still need me and want to be around me.
• The changing seasons (despite the fact that Jameson has a cough that kept us up for 3 hours last night because it is flu season - F.U. flu season). Even though it gets damn cold, there is something peaceful and beautiful about falling snow.
• That we cut our own Christmas tree instead of buying it out of a parking lot!
• A million other things that I'm too tired to form into words right now (see bullet number 7 above regarding lack of sleep).

And because I know people don't really care about the things I have to say, they just want to see my cute kids...here they are.

Me & JJ on the search for our Christmas tree.

Brody pulling the tree sled.

We found it! - although with our big heads you can't really see it behind us.

Peek-a-boo

Don't we take this picture every year?

The fresh air and the excitement of the tree hunt tuckered little Jameson right out!

Here she is, in her glory (and her fancy lights that Brody picked out last year)

Brody did most of the decorating this year. He was so excited to see all the ornaments.

J-man was more fascinated with the lights than anything else. And knowing him, he was probably scheming a way to get the tree in his mouth when we aren't looking.

Time for the nightly wrestling with Daddy.

BOY (noun): a noise with dirt on it

I laughed the first time I saw that definition of "boy." And now, with a house full of boys, I realize just how true it is.

Last night, as our third (yes third) Thanksgiving dinner settled in our bellies and we watched football, I lost track of the number of times and ways that I asked Brody to lower his voice. "Brody, can you turn down your volume a bit?", "Brody, please use a quieter voice.", "Brody, your brother is sleeping, please don't shout.", and finally "SSHHHHHHH!!!!!" They all work for .5 seconds until he "forgets" and starts loud talking again. Yes, my shy little Brody has turned into a loud talker! I mean we were all sitting within six feet of each other. There was no need to shout. Ryan looked at me laughing and simply said, "This is boys. Get used to it." And so it has hit me. I will always have a house full of boys.

And no, I am in no way ever thinking about adding a third to the mix to try for a girl. I am just beginning to realize what it means to have boys. I will most likely not be teaching my boys how to crochet or quilt. They will most likely never choose to watch a romantic comedy with me on a Sunday afternoon over watching a football game. And they will probably choose to go running with their Dad over going to yoga with me. Who knows, maybe they'll surprise me, but Brody's fascination with Patriots football and Wes Welker leads me to believe that I shouldn't hold my breath.

So while I'm a little bit sad that my future will be short on precious, girly moments and I will never get to watch anything other than football on Sunday afternoons, there is no denying how precious my boys are in this very moment! I mean seriously, don't you just want to eat them?

Capacity to Love

I had a horrifying moment the other day. In the middle of work, clickety-clacking away on some spreadsheet on my computer, it happened. The world around me faded into a blurry haze and I felt the wholeness of the love that I have for my family, for my children. It was overwhelming. It was scary and heartbreaking and completely amazing. My ears rung, I got dizzy and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. I couldn't breath. I needed them near me. I needed them in my arms to smell their soft hair and protect them from the big, intimidating world outside. I needed to smother them with kisses and find some better way to convey to them how completely I love them than the simple words "I love you". I was paralyzed with love. And then...the moment passed. And my fingers began again to click away on the keys. And I was fine.

And so I now believe that, although we think we are aware of how much we love our children, our love is actually incomprehensible most days. If we were capable of fully feeling that love, every minute of every day, it would paralyze us. We would never allow them to leave us. It is that deep. It is that whole. It is that all consuming and pure. And while I'm grateful for that moment of clarity, I really hope it doesn't happen again. My heart just can't take it.

Just Another Day

So aside from the freak 22" snowstorm in October, November has been relatively mild in New Hampshire this year and not nearly as dreary as usual. Thank goodness because, while Jameson seems to finally be getting the hang of this sleeping thing, I'm no where near caught up on sleep (is it possible to still be recovering from his birth after 8 months?). And dreary days combined with sub-par sleep conditions results in a very cranky and sad Mama!

The sunshine and warmer temps have been making November quite pleasant though.  We went to visit Pat and Ev in York yesterday and enjoyed ourselves a scrumptious Thanksgiving Dinner with the McCarthy family (yes a week early, but there can never be too many turkey dinners!). The best part of the day, besides finding out that we're going to have a new niece in April (do you like how I just casually slip this in here like it's not the best news ever!! A McCarthy girl? Whoever heard of such a thing?) was that the boys were able to play football in the front yard in t-shirts...it's the end of November and they were wearing t-shirts! And sweating! We know it's only a matter of time before t-shirts are a distant memory, but we'll certainly enjoy it while we can.

So here are a few pictures of just another day with the boys. I'm pretending it's a clever title for this post, but honestly, I just can't remember when these pictures are from. I try to be all casual and funny and gently make fun of myself that "ha, ha, having a second child diminished my brain capacity, ha, ha"...the thing is, it's completely true and really (REALLY) not funny. And...I have been kind of bad at taking pictures lately. I realized sometime last week that I was busy actually living life (you know, instead of trying to capture it all from behind the camera lens) and so I snapped a few pictures here and there. And then I had an epiphany.

It's not that my parent's loved my sister more than they loved me. It's not that they were too poor after having a second child to develop film. Those are not the reasons that there are a million (ok, maybe only 4) albums of my sister when she was a baby and only half of an album of me. It was simply that there was just no time to leisurely sit around and gaze at the baby and have a photo shoot every day. I get it now! And, being a second child with a poorly documented childhood, I vow to not let all the little, seemingly insignificant moments of Jameson's childhood (and Brody's for that matter), go un-captured (spell check tells me this isn't a word, but you know what I mean, right?). So...here are some seemingly insignificant moments from the last week. Enjoy!

Jameson, enjoying the toes of a member of the Bee-Bop-Band (come on, don't you know the Bee-Bop-Band?)

Yes, my child still has blue eyes...I'm as confused about that as you are...it's a big B, little b thing (yes, I'm a science geek!). He also has chapped cheeks because it's November in New Hampshire and because he happens to have the most delicious cheeks this side of the Mississippi and we can help but nibble on them every chance we get.

 This is what we do at night after dinner. We get on the floor and wrestle with Daddy. It's hilarious, there is laughter, elbows to the face, and knees to the gut, and it usually ends in someone getting hurt, but for some reason, we do it all over again the next night. Boys...I still can't figure them out.

 And in a rare moment of calm...Jameson seems to be wondering what he got himself into with this family.

And now, if he could talk, I think he would say, "WTF Mama! Put the camera down and save me from this ferocious puppy who is going to drown me in sloppy kisses! (A note to Child Protective Services: while the dog is a rottweiler and the child does look frightened, I assure you, said child actually loves sloppy puppy kisses and typically welcomes them with open arms and open mouth - much to his mother's dismay.)

And because I'm a bad mother and I don't think I actually captured the moment when he had his first solid food (or maybe I did, remember what I said about my diminished brain capacity?), here is a picture that I can show him some day if he ever asks about the first time he had solid food. And as I type this I realize how unlikely it is that he will ever actually ask me that question, but I'll be prepared just in case!

That's all for now, sorry about all the parenthesis...clearly my mind is scattered and a bit all over the place. Again, I'll blame the baby!

Oh Brody...

A few of my favorite Brody quotes from the week...

When asked what he wants for dinner on the way home from school, his response:
"I have absolutely no idea"

When asked how the toilet seat (and part of the floor and wall) got covered in pee, his response:
"I have absolutely no idea"

When asked how he got a black eye, his response:
"I got it on the stairs this morning."
Me: "At school?"
Brody: "No, at home."
Me: "You didn't get a black eye on the stairs at home this morning."
Brody: "Oh. I meant that I got it at school." (while shaking his head at his silly mistake).
Me: "You fell on the stairs at school?"
Brody: "No, I banged my face on the door at school. It didn't even hurt."
Me: "Wait, I thought you said the stairs?"
Brody: "I meant the door."
Me: "What door?"
Brody: "That door." (as he points to the right- I think indicating the side door at his school that goes out to the playground). "It was stuck and I pulled it like this" (makes exaggerated pulling motion), "and I bonked my eye and then I bonked my eye on the other side of the door too."
Me: "Did you tell your teachers?" (Thinking maybe I can get a straight answer from them about what happened.
Brody: "No 'cause it didn't even hurt!"
...I give up and the mystery of the black eye continues.

After throwing out some of his candy because we told him we would throw out some of his candy if he wasn't being a good listener, his response (after crying):
"That's OK, because those jelly beans had a little brown on them so they would taste yucky anyway. My vitamins can be my special treat."

After I told him that if he couldn't say anything nice, he needed to stop talking, his response:
"Well, you're making me angry when you say that and you're not going to be in my family any more."

Sometimes that boy is so precious he melts me and sometimes the things that come out of his mouth make me want to put him outside and lock the door. Yes, I realize that probably makes me a bad mother, but I promise I would send him out there with his coat and hat so he wouldn't get too cold. And eventually, I'd let him back in...I think!

Back to Pictures...

Ummm...who got all serious on this blog the last few postings? Geez...where did all the cute pictures of the kids go? If this is something you've been wondering, well, here are a few random pictures of life lately.

A visit to Uncle Pat & Auntie Ev's house on Ry's birthday!

Drew and Brody being silly on the couch.

 Jameson in his exersaucer...think he likes it?

 

And enjoying some prunes and cereal for breakfast. That's right...prunes - similar to beans in that they are also a "musical fruit"! Of course in our house of boys, it seems nearly everything is a musical fruit! JJ makes music with the best of them!

And because there have been so many pictures of JJ, here is one of Brody, playing with play doh in his jammies before school.

Where I'm From...

I am from the tiny house on the corner behind the big red maple and my mother’s garden, from snap, crackle, pop with Saturday morning cartoons and hopscotch on the front walk under a slowly setting, summer sun.

I am from the street that winds passed the park, with fuchsia bursts of rhododendrons and the faint, steady beat of the basketball court behind the swaying pines.

I am from the forget-me-nots and the wild bleeding hearts that grew in my grandmother’s garden, the sweet one hundreds with their buzzing bees, red flesh and warm fruit perfectly ripened in the lazy afternoon sun.

I am from the music makers and the strong, swift fingers of self-taught strings that strum and pick and hoot and holler into the night air from the soft glow of the back porch light, from Janet’s strawberry rhubarb pie and molasses baked beans and Sunday dinners made from the bounty of Walter’s garden and the good, dark earth.

I am from the self-sufficient and self-reliant.

From a million “I love you’s” wrapped in strong, loving arms, and the silly mother singing “we’re off to see the wizard” while skipping into the grocery store.

I am from the faithful healers. The believers in gratitude and love and goodness and the infinite Mind.

I’m from the changing seasons, where summer is measured in salty ocean waves, and winter in nor’easters, cold cucumber sandwiches and homemade pizza.

From the parents who built everything with a couple of scraps and their own two hands, the teacher, the quilter, the chef, the cookie burner, the furniture maker, the garden tender, the fisherman, the painter, the best darned band aid put-er on-er, the dress maker, the guitar player and his harmony. My father. My mother.

I am from the weathered albums of Polaroids and 3 x 5's, from the pale pink, unfinished baby book that has cluttered my parent's bookshelf for 32 years. I'm from pencil sketches, charcoal drawings, and report cards that fill boxes in the basement, and old handmade birthday cards tucked into my mother's cookbooks to mark favorite recipes and remind her of when her children were small.

I am from love and laughter and love.


Where are you from?

I found this here and couldn't resist.

Sanity in a Cup

That's what I'm craving this morning, well besides a good night's sleep, is a little sanity. A little calm. A small moment in time when someone doesn't need something from me except for silent love and perhaps a simple conversation. A moment in time when there are no dishes to be done, no meals to prepare, no work to rush off to, no deadline to meet, no 5 year old birthday party to attend, no crying baby, no angry family...just a moment of peace. And while I know that this is an amazingly beautiful and blessed life that I am leading, a week moment to myself to regroup would do wonders right now. There are these tiny little humans in my life that need me though and so this morning I will settle for my sanity in a cup. This little cup has no idea how much it saves me...

You might have an infant if...

Your nightstand has...
baby gas-x
baby acetaminophen
butt paste
aveno baby lotion
a temporal thermometer
a nuk
tiny finger nail clippers
wee little sox
a dirty diaper
a used burp cloth
...and you're too tired to put any of it away or care!

Happy Halloween (a bit late)

We've been a bit sleep deprived in our house the last few days (months) and somehow I missed posting about Halloween. Somewhere, on my good camera, there are some better pictures from the evening...I'll have to update this post with real pictures when I can find two minutes to myself (i.e., when I'm not pumping, feeding JJ, making someone something to eat, doing dishes, driving, or attempting to sleep). In the meantime, a quick picture from my phone will have to do.

This year is the first year that we felt Brody was really old enough to go out at night trick or treating. I realize most people bring babies as little as Jameson out for such a fun occasion, but that's just not our style. I think when kids are too little to enjoy being dressed up or too little that a night out is likely to ruin the next week of sleep, they're just too little. Of course, since Jameson sleeps like doggy-do most nights, we weren't so much worried about ruining his sleep. What we were most concerned about it that it was damn cold - DAMN cold! So JJ stayed home with Grammie while Ryan, Brody and I had a night to ourselves. I love Jameson with every cell in my body, but there was something quite nostalgic about having a moment in time with just the three of us again.

Main Street has a Halloween Howl where they close down the street and all of the stores stay open and hand out candy. Some of the restaurants had cookies and hot cider (we LOVE hot cider). They have live music, a halloween costume parade, horse drawn carriage rides...it's pure, delightful chaos - and bonus, Mama got a coupon for my favorite little shop downtown that sells fabulous skin care products! We thought it would be a perfect way to kick-off the Halloween weekend. So we met up with Auntie Laura, Uncle Jeff, and the cousins and had ourselves a spooky good time.

SIDE NOTE: It turns out is a good thing we went because we got a B.I.G. snowstorm with 22 inches of snow just before trick or treating - mass power outages, icy snow-covered sidewalks, full on snowstorm, and we didn't go out again. Good thing Brody is only 4 so he didn't realize that we missed the real trick or treating!

Brody (aka G.I. Joe) and Wilder (aka Captain Jack Sparrow) at the Halloween Howl!

Brody and his friends Seamus and Connor.

This skeleton looking guy freaked Brody out! He wanted nothing to do with him or his candy. Poor kid!

A walking shot that didn't come out so hot...the boys are behind the Greek goddesses, Belle and her friend Alex!

And because Brody's legs were "too tired" to go see what he looked like in the mirror, he asked me to take a picture of him with his crazy teeth and crazy eyes that he got from a friend at school for Halloween. (Question for parents...was I supposed to put Halloween goody bags together for all of the kids in Brody's preschool class? He got a handful of Halloween goody bags in his cubby last week. Most days I already feel like a slacker mom because I have to leave my kids to go to work - these overachieving parents with goody bags for every occasion are killing me!).